“I couldn’t bear it if anyone knew I had hardly any self-confidence at all.” Loretta Young
Developing self-confidence sounds like it could take years and lots of hard work right? Not true. Keep reading as it may be easier than you think.
- Developing self-confidence takes lots of practice and you have to control your thoughts and actions. FALSE
Self-confidence is a state of being. When you feel good about yourself you feel confident right? Almost certainly you have already experienced this – even if briefly.
- If I wear nice clothes and dress up I will feel more confident. TRUE – sometimes
Dressing up and knowing you look good can certainly help, but that confidence can disappear in a flash if you walk into a room and find everyone else is dressed up more, or are super casual, or in costume and no one told you it was a costume party. True self-confidence comes from the inside out and is not dependent on what anyone else thinks about you.
- If I get a better job or find true love I will have self-confidence. FALSE
Actually it is the other way around! When you really have self-confidence THEN you will find better jobs and you will hang out with people who also have self-confidence. Trying to find greater confidence from a job or relationship will be short lived at best. At worst, if it doesn’t work out, it may be a knock to what little confidence you had before. Don’t do it!
What is TRUE about developing self-confidence?
True self-confidence is when you are no longer concerned about what others think of you. I know that sounds impossible. I used to be sooo self-critical I would already imagine everyone judging me before I even walked into a room! So I get it. Others always seemed to look great and exude confidence …… but not me. Can you relate?
Affirmations Don’t Work – Consistently
Doing affirmations and positive self-talk can certainly help but you can’t talk yourself into true self-confidence. I did tons of affirmations and tried to convince my mind that I was OK. It was great until a chance remark or a look from someone would cause me to melt into the ground in a puddle of self-doubt.
When You Know Yourself as Your Soul Knows You – Then Confidence is Natural
Actually, it can be easier than that! I know. I found a level of self-confidence that a few years earlier I would have thought impossible – for me. As it turned out, it wasn’t about working at developing self-confidence but rather seeing myself from a different perspective and finding I already had it. When you KNOW you are OK just the way you are then you will naturally have self-confidence.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” Dr. Wayne Dyer
Developing self-confidence is more about changing the way you look at yourself than changing your mind. Let’s face it, you have probably tried making your mind different and yet you are still looking.
So if you are ready for true self-confidence and are open to looking at things differently, then I invite you to continue to explore this site.