Developing Self-Confidence

Developing Self-Confidence

Developing self-confidence sounds like it could take years and lots of hard work right? Not true. Keep reading as it may be easier than you think.

A few years back I had practically NO self-confidence so I know exactly what that feels like. Now, looking back on that time I see that I had some serious mis-conceptions about how to feel better about myself.

I was told I ‘should’ love myself and I should look in the mirror and tell myself ‘I love you’ -but it felt like a complete lie.

All of that lacking confidence, self-doubt and judgment changed in an almost miraculous way.

It doesn’t take a ton of hard work and it isn’t about what you wear, how much money you have or the state of your relationships.

It IS about how you see yourself – it is a shift in perspective.

Here are a few myths that I discovered along the way that may help.


  1. Developing self-confidence and self-esteem takes lots of practice and you have to control your thoughts and actions. FALSE

Self-confidence is a state of being. When you feel good about yourself you feel confident right? Almost certainly you have already experienced this – even if briefly. When you TRULY know who you are, confidence and self-esteem are natural. It is simply who you are and not related to the ego at all.

Want to know who you TRULY are? Let’s talk. I can help find your natural self-esteem. It’s easier than you think.

  1. If I wear nice clothes and dress up I will feel more confident. TRUE – sometimes

Self-confidence for women can definitely be affected by what you wear. Dressing up and knowing you look good can certainly help, but that confidence can disappear in a flash. Imagine walking into a room and you find everyone else is dressed up more, or are super casual, or in costume and no one told you it was a costume party. Yikes!

True self-confidence comes from the inside out and is not dependent on what anyone else thinks about you.

Working together I can show you how to gain true self-confidence!

  1. If I get a better job or find true love I will have self-confidence. FALSE

Actually it is the other way around! When you really have self-confidence THEN you will find better jobs and you will hang out with people who also have self-confidence.

Trying to find greater confidence from a job or relationship will be short lived at best. At worst, if it doesn’t work out, it may be a knock to what little confidence you had before. Don’t do it!

Learn to feel good about yourself FIRST – and then watch what happens!

What is TRUE about developing self-confidence?

True confidence is when you are no longer concerned about what others think of you. I know that sounds impossible. I used to be sooo self-critical I would already imagine everyone judging me before I even walked into a room! So I get it. Others always seemed to look great and exude confidence …… but not me. Can you relate?

Affirmations Don’t Work – Consistently

Doing affirmations and positive self-talk can certainly help but you can’t talk yourself into true self-confidence. I did tons of affirmations and tried to convince my mind that I was OK. It was great until a chance remark or a look from someone would cause me to melt into the ground in a puddle of self-doubt.


When You Know Yourself as Your Soul Knows You – Then Confidence is Natural

Actually, it can be easier than that! I know. I found a level of self-confidence that a few years earlier I would have thought impossible – for me.

As it turned out, it wasn’t about working at developing self-confidence but rather seeing myself from a different perspective and finding I already had it.

When you KNOW you are OK, just the way you are, then you will naturally have self-confidence.


Connect with me to learn how.


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